This is my last post for the year….for the next three weeks and maybe more.
A month ago, I wanted to give up everything…BODIE and FOU, the blog, trying for a baby, trying for so many things, now I just think f**k it. I just want a break, go to the beach, eat healthily, sleep, feel fit again and be with the people I love.
Last year when Mila and I flew to France to say goodbye to my grand-mother before she passed away, I read an article about the “F**k It therapy” in Grazia and how liberating it felt to say f**k it.
It made me laugh but it was true…it does feel good to say F**K IT loud and clear.
While in France by her side, I taught one of my aunts to say it and we had a good laugh despite the sad circumstances that brought us together. It felt good because it’s like saying no to the things/people who spoil your life. It feels good because it’s like making a stand for your well-being, be in control of what you want and not give a damn about what other people think of you.
I didn’t realise how much I missed my grand-mother until a few months later when I saw an old lady crossing the street who reminded me of her and I cried.
I cried again last week when she died because it felt terribly sad. I know she came from a loving family and sometimes it is not enough but it made me realise how lucky I am, we are as a family and how grateful we owe to be.
Since then, we’ve introduced a new family tradition which is to say 3 positive things about our day to each other. I think it’s a good thing to teach to Mila, to focus on the positive thing rather than dwelling on the negative. She wasn’t in complete agreement when I made her work extra hard for her school assignments but two days later, 2 out of her 3 positive things was to get a great mark at school and that I helped her with her homework.
Sometimes, an hour walk to the office does the trick for me or walking our dog as family makes Steve’s evening walk suddenly a lot better, sometimes it is just being grateful for what we have and how precious it is.
So I’m at peace now. I haven’t sorted everything in my life that stressed me out in the first place but right now, I don’t give a monkey. I’m just gonna have a break, take care of myself and enjoy quality time with the ones I love and I would like to end this post on a few things…
Whatever you are going through, this too shall pass
and if doesn’t, say f**k it.
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
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