comments 16

Just be kind

Just be kind

Just be kindOn Saturday, one of my scheduled house tour went live (I’ve deleted it since then). Someone who never left a comment before left a harsh comment on Instagram, saying that in the wake of the terrible events that happened in Paris, all I could think of, was interiors.

Lady, nothing could be further from the truth…

As I’m currently experiencing the loss of a father I loved very much, everything I read about families who lost loved ones during this terrible tragedy, resonates strongly within me.

I watched the news until late Friday evening and spent Saturday totally spaced out. Since then, I have been watching a lot of documentaries and read lots of news articles trying to understand Daech, to understand what can be done, to see how we can help Syria.
I cry…I cry a lot.
I read posts on Facebook of people searching for friends, for information and I feel the pain, their pain, my family’s pain to the deepest of my being.
I keep asking myself “what’s the point!?” of doing what we are doing or living and I know that I can’t let myself think like this because it will lead me to a place I don’t want to go but it’s there.

The death of my dad has shaken me deeply. It was unexpected like what happened on Friday was, and I don’t understand, I don’t have answers, I just know I want things to change. I don’t know yet how they can change, what we can do as a community to change things but things have to change.

So to answer your comment Lady…I posted a photo of an inspiring interior because I wanted a break.
I wanted to have a f… break from feeling everyone’s else pain.
I wanted to laugh and think about something else other than pain, loss, grief, the fact that I will never see my dad ever again, the fact that so many people had lost on Friday people they truly loved the same way we lost our dad a few weeks earlier.
I wanted to forget that we live in a world where people don’t think twice about killing each other, that it is not only Paris that suffers but Beirut, Kenya, the US and London a few years ago.

I wanted to take my mind away from what’s going on and lose myself in things that comfort me. I wanted to shut myself from the world because right now, this is too much for me and I have a 10 years old who needs me, who is also dealing with the loss of her grand-dad so we still do things like nothing had happened, laugh with friends, go to the skate park, watch stupid American comedies, write about interiors so something, someone can make us feel a bit happy inside.

So I’m sorry if you felt my post was unsensitive but I would just say this to you, before being all judgemental on someone you don’t know, never met or never interact with on Instagram, just be kind.

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Filed under: Personal


Founder of Award-Winning Concept Store BODIE and FOU (now closed) & Photographer, UK's Top 10 Design blog, mum of one cool surfer, 23 years in London, now living by the beach in France, married to a kiwi.


  1. I really struggle with this, I saw all sorts of similar comments on twitter (similar to your critic) about posts being insensitive. We can’t let the horror of Friday stop us from going about our normal lives, joy and love are what we need to fight this senseless violence. Don’t let one negative person blow you off course. They were clearly lacking in empathy, We all need moments of beauty even in the darkest times.

    I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you and your family love and peace.

  2. Caroline den Ouden says

    So sorry to hear that someone left an unpleasant comment and had to judge you. I think it’s a good idea in these moments of grief you should post something different to stay possitive in this world. I did the same. I’ve put something to laugh at my facebookaccount. I already cried several times on Saterday. I just needed something else. So stay doing what you want to do. I also lost my father all of a sudden (at age of 54) and my mother (61). You also are in NEED of other toughts….
    Sorry if my Englisch is not perfect, I’m a Dutch follower. Good luck for you!

    • Hi Caroline

      Thank you for your sweet comment. Im really sorry to hear that you lost both parents. I’m sending you lots of love your way <3

      PS: really no need to apologise for your English, I wouldn't have judged you on it

  3. Vérinique says

    La beauté est une réponse à l’horreur.
    Merci pour toutes ces belles photos et aussi denous livrer vos sentiments.Vous êtes courageuse de vous exposer aux facheux. Tant pis pour eux , ils n’ont qu’a voir ailleurs. La beauté, la création, l’art sont l’essence même de notre humanité.
    Merci et don’t care

  4. People can be so nasty.
    Firstly I would say no need to apologise no need to explain. Your blog is linked to your business which is a beautifully curated selection of items for interiors. Sure you comment on your life , on fashion but you have not set yourself up as a newsreader.
    The profound loss of your beloved Father has left you realing. Take some time. This will be a long process and you don’t have to justify the rawness of your emotions. Look after yourself. Talk to people and if that doesn’t help talk to someone proffesionally. Be aware of taking your pain and putting it somewhere else. I became obsessed by recycling! If I hadn’t recycled everything I became panicked. Talking helped me.
    Take care.

    • Thanks Sarah you’re right I dont need to justify myself but if someone I don’t know allows herself to criticise me for no reasons, I will respond.
      I don’t blog to be at the receiving end of someone’s bitterness, I blog because I like sharing and I like the interaction so I will always kick off the negative ones :-)

      I hear you about recycling. I’m not there yet but I’m on a mission to clear the house and make our lives lighter and easier :-)

  5. Lorraine says

    Firstly words cannot describe how I feel or indeed, I imagine how we all feel about Paris, so horrific and beyond belief…… Thoughts and prayers with everyone touched by this hideous nightmere….

    ! was really saddened to hear that an unkind comment was written. Nothing is gained by judging and pointing fingers, so unnecessary and such a waste of energy. I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your father, nothing can fill the void or lessen the pain. Only the comfort of family and friends and looking at all the positive things around us. I totally agree and understand the need to take a break….. It doesn’t mean we are insensitive or forgetting the horrors of the last few days, as it has effected us all in different ways. We just each need to take comfort and strength from whatever works for us. I for one, totally get that.

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  8. Alisha O. says

    Such lovely, heartfelt words! Thanks for sharing. :) So sorry for the loss of your father & for all the tragedies surrounding you from all sides. Your blog is a beautiful respite from all the nastiness of the world! Sending warm wishes to you & yours….all the way from Saint Joseph, Michigan (in the U.S. of A.)!!!

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