Little piece of wisdom I’m trying to pass on to Mila…What best piece of advice have you been giving to your children?
Nowadays kids are a lot more connected than we were at their age. As a Blogger, it would be difficult for me to prevent her from using social media but I’m trying to teach her to keep her feet on the ground and to connect with her own tribe so to speak….real friends, friends she shares an interest, people she can rely on.
Funnily enough, when it comes to Mila owing a phone for instance, I’m super traditional. She hasn’t got one yet and I will postpone it as much as I can (I’m aiming for her 16 years old birthday) :-) How about you? How are you feeling about all of this?
GET SOME PRINTS
oh my! this is a minefield and we all have different views from our own upbringing etc. and depending on our own child.
My son is 11 (was in June) and has started secondary school this September. He had his own phone about 6 months ago because he was going out with friends more and I wanted to be able to know where he was and that he could contact us. It was more a safety thing rather than a cool thing! He doesn’t use it overly and goes through phases of talking on ‘kik’ and via instagram either on his phone or ipad.
Facebook is where I draw the line as have heard terrible stories about online bullying so I have said he cannot until legal age of 13 (which I think should be older) and even though I am more lenient on older rated games and some films thats because they arent real and not proper interaction.
I have explained to him that anything on social media leaves a footprint so if he says something rude, nasty etc then people will know and this could have an impact in later life. I don’t believe he would do this however I wanted him to know.
As we are a small family we talk lots and he is always open about whats going on, what his friends have done, what he’s done etc and I hope that will continue as we enter the tween/teen years :-(. We have always worked on the trust basis and if he abuses that trust then things are removed or stricter guidelines are put in place.
Other parents are strict on their kids but when they are out or even at ours they are the little monkeys who get up to all sorts!
With us both working from home with Macs, iPads and phones dotted around I dont think we can say a complete no but explain the reasoning behind our decision and make them aware of the dangers of the world and that people are not always as they seem.
Its a tough one and everyones situation is different so I would say go with your gut and what works for you both.
Good luck! x
It is isn’t it!? But I think it’s such an interesting topic and how as mothers/parents we can try to help our kids to go through this.
Mila hasn’t got facebook, just IG which I monitor closely. Most people who follow her either follow me or they are of her own age.
I make sure there is no picture with too much skin, just street style/fashion
Her cousin got bullied via FB so we are aware of the issue, which is also why I’m trying to teach her not to take any sh…. from anyone (I wrote a post about raising a confident child a while back) but it’s not always easy. I find kids are a lot tougher nowadays than when I was 10. They have issues that I only dealt with when I was a teen. Saying that, I grew up in the country side and I was mega naive. It took me years to realise that people next to me had done drugs etc so I’m not really a reference.
There was just one incident that freaked me out one day and it was on one of these games when anyone connected can join it. She thought she was talking to a boy she liked in London when in fact, I’m pretty sure it was a dodgy guy so we had a serious talk about sharing private informations and answering questions via the internet.
En fait je pensais à tort que Mila avait déjà un smartphone car elle a compte ig. Dur de dire non en effet et d’expliquer les vraies choses quand les parents des copains copines achètent presque tout !!! je lutte ici aussi mais attendre 16 me parait impossible ! 12 ans je pense mais un téléphone sans accès internet !
je lis ton blog depuis des années en mode silence mais très très fidèle. Un de tes post qui m’a le plus ému, remué est celui où tu regrettais de ne pas avoir fait plus de photos de toi avec ta fille (cela me parle, je suis dans la même situation mais bon j’ai un strabisme aux yeux qui n’aide pas). Belle journée.
Non elle a un iPod et un mini iPad. Elle se sert de l’Ipad pour regarder Netflix et de son iPod pour prendre des photos & poster sur IG mais bon pour l’instant, elle ne demande pas trop après un téléphone. De temps en temps ca revient car la plupart de ses copines en ont un mais en fait elle n’est pas très connectée. Elle passe beaucoup plus de temps dehors à sauter sur le trampoline ou faire du skate ce qui me va très bien.
Pour les photos avec Mila, je me suis rattrapée cette année mais ca m’a vraiment rendu triste pendant des années. Je regrette vraiment mais qu’est ce que tu veux c’est la vie…on ne peut pas revenir en arrière par contre maintenant j’en prends vachement :-))) Essaie de ne pas laisser ce strabisme qui je suis à plein de charme, te gacher ces petits moments ou mets des lunettes de soleil parce que franchement, les jours ou je n’ai pas la pêche et je regarde les photos de Mila et moi ensemble heureuses, ca me fait vraiment du bien
Et merci encore de ton commentaire. Cela me fait vraiment très plaisir.
You are right that kids are experiencing things 3-4 years sooner than at least when I was a child and I too, was naive, but was also wrapped in cotton wool and quite restricted which caused its own set of problems later on…yes we have had the same thing with an online building site (which I think you are referring to) and I explained not to give anything personal away either. A few years ago when he was about 7 or 8 he told someone online he was 12/13 and I explained that by doing that they would expect a different level of conversation etc and maybe they were not the age they had said. In many ways its a shame because we have to make them aware of things that are potential dangers and explain things but equally I want him to grow up being aware to try and avoid those dangers…its a tight rope of constant conversation and managing :-) I find these older years way tougher than when they were little because the circle of influence is so much greater for them.
Thanks for highlighting an area which we all struggle with